Our biggest christmas ever!

Our new nativity scene given to me by a great friend

 

I know my last post was written about things I am thankful for, but there is so much more. God is showing me so many things. So we are doing really good. I got some new kids in counseling and the others are doing way better. We are amazed at how our Christmas is coming together. I haven't spent any money yet we have so many presents under our tree, and even some for me! We usually didn't have much for Christmas in the past. And last year we didn't even have a tree.  So to see what God provided is amazing.   Just in the last two weeks or so I have been given a Christmas tree, had money given to me, all our bikes are fixed, a friend paid for a new tire I needed, someone took our family portrait for free, many families have given us presents, food, and we got our housing voucher, and right now I am sitting at a fancy condo by the beach! I am so blown away. So we get to move to a place of our own here pretty soon. And God is always working the impossible in situations for us. I am a little overwhelmed at the thought of moving again so soon, but I think it took me moving to somewhere small to realize we may need a little bit bigger place. That one extra bedroom makes a big difference, so we are going from a two bedroom to a three. :) And the place has a big living room and dining room, which I love, because I love having people over and hosting things. So I am looking forward to doing that again.

 

Thank you all for your prays. I am also very blessed to be in the community I am in. People are really nice to my kids and are always willing to help us our in different situations. God has shown me that I am not alone in raising my children. He is walking this road with me, and I can go to Him anytime I need him. Sometimes I feel like the same characteristics I have lived with are showing up in my children. But I serve a God bigger than any legacy we have been left with. God has helped me to stay more patient with my kids, I almost feel like my old self again. And I am learning to enjoy time on my own.  I even went to see a movie with some friends :) by my myself.  I do most things with my kids, and for a little while it was hard to be alone. But now I am starting to enjoy it. It is nice to feel like a whole, normal person again. God can heal anything!

 

 

                                                    Our tree is going to be hidden soon!

Lots to be thankful for!!

I have been so busy trying to unpack, have thanksgiving, play practice, and just managing 7 kids...lol. So first, Thanksgiving. It was really great, I hosted a dinner for the other ladies that go to Sable House. A lot of us are in the same situation so it was fun to get together out side of our support group that we go to. My church was very supportive and let me host it there. They also helped to donate food and decorations. So it was pretty easy on me.  We made gingerbread houses with the ladies and their children. They all said they had a lot of fun. We did too! :)


I'm not the best yet at getting these to look organized or even in a nice row....but whatever lol (keep reading below the pictures)

  

  

 



My children and I have been practicing for the Christmas play. It is quite a production. Not just a simple play.  You are all invited. I hope if you live close by, you can come. If not it will be recorded, I can get you a copy if you let me know. 

I have to tell you about my special camera. I wanted to buy a camera on black Friday, or as some call it grey Thursday..lol. But I had no money so I just took my children shopping, they had money. A few days later I thought maybe the store would have some left over black Friday camera's. But they said "no". So I needed a camera anyway. I talked with the salesman about what camera would be best and why. I finally narrowed it down which one I wanted. He went to look for it under where they keep them locked up and they didn't have it. But they had this other camera that was almost the same, the man wasn't sure what it was. He went to check and it turned out to be a black Friday camera. So not only was it cheap but it was just like the one I wanted and was going to pick anyway. I really felt special, like God had kept it there for me. I was super blessed and excited! This is the second time in just a few months that God has used the fact that I had no money when I thought I needed it, to bless me more later.  He is awesome like that!

Moving has proved itself to be interesting.  I have never moved by myself before. I have never had to make all or any of the decisions before. So it was a bit overwhelming, but a lot of great people showed up to help me and made the transition much easier. I also had a lot of people show up to help me clean the house to "perfection." I needed to leave the house really perfect. It was really perfect when we moved in. So thank you to all of you that helped me! I could have never done it with out you!. Figuring out where to put everything in my house is another exciting challenge. Never have I been able to just put things where I want. And decorating was never my job.  I know that sounds weird, but it's true. I keep typing and backspacing, I want to say I am not good at decorating or arranging rooms, but I really don't know that, I've never really been given a chance or if I tried it was changed. So we will see.

God provided a mini storage for me paid for the next few months, and I get to live rent free for a while. Praise the Lord! He is good to me. I look forward to sending Christmas cards here soon.  If you would like a card, I would love to send you one! Please email me your address. Also feel free to leave comments on here, it is nice, or on FB. Thanks! hollywatkinssoc@gmail.com is my email

The Trial

This is the speech that I gave to Donavan today. It was very liberating to be able to say something without fear of repercussions from him. His sister was also able to speak. A lot of his family felt very controlled by him also. He did try to walk away after I started speaking but the judge made him come back and listen. I also played messages from my kids.

I am learning in my Domestic violence class that I need to do things for myself once in a while. People in our situation have given and given for so many years that we hardly can bring ourselves to do things for ourselves. So this, this speech is for ME. This summer God started revealing things to me, and opened my eyes to how you really are.. I gave our marriage my all for many many years, but these last few, I was at my wits end. Nothing ever seemed to make things better. And now I know why. You are an abusive person Donavan. You may not realize this, but it is clear as day to me now.  My counselor read me a list of abusive behaviors and had me write down the things that you had done to me. It took up a whole page, and I had no doubt that I am a victim of domestic violence, as crazy as that sounds. I have realized that you are a master manipulator and liar. It is amazing how much you are just like all the other abusive men.  Doing things like being harsh, demanding, always blaming me, threatening to abandon me, arguing over small things, not leaving me alone when I ask, pushing me, calling me names, cutting off family and friends, requiring me to ask permission to do just about anything, humiliating me, throwing things, accusing me of thing you are doing, calling me crazy, and trying to convince others I was crazy... are just a FEW of the things on the list. You not only did these things to me, but to our kids as well. God has seen our sufferings, he has answered our prayers. I am glad he gave me the last two years to stand up to you sometimes, and to stand up for our kids, I am glad for those moments when I said to our family THIS IS NOT NORMAL.and slowly I grew to not love you anymore. God only knows how I would be falling apart right now if I loved you the way I did years ago. I always knew I was never good enough for you, but now, with what you have done, I feel sorry for you. You are a sick man. I pray that you repent before God, and he truly saves your soul. Your only hope is to one day see you kids in Heaven. I have always tried to stand up for you, and the fact that no one really knows how you treated us in private, is proof I was a good wife.  You lost out Donavan.  We could have been awesome together, but you just couldn't stop lying and being abusive....its ok. God has given me another chance,  I am  going to a Christian counselor and learning what a normal healthy loving relationship is really like.... and someday I will make somebody a really really great wife.Real men don't lie to, cheat on or abuse women.

He pleaded guilty and got 75 months and he will also have a trial in Nevada and Arizona.

This verse God showed me today and is my heart.
Colossians 3:12-17 NKJV

Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must  do.  But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Thankyou everyone for your prayers.

Update on Donavan

Trial is set for November 13th, Next Wednesday. At 11:30 in Circuit 4 at the jail. He is PLEADING GUILTY. He has admitted to many things, but only a few things in Oregon so he will only get about 6yrs here.  After he pleads guilt and is sentenced here, he will be shipped off to Nevada to be tried for the other charges that he admitted too and get a min of 35yrs. They are working on having that trial be in Jan in NV. Arizona is still working on their case, he could be tried there too. Please let anyone know who you think may want to know, I don't have time to call everyone. I am still trying to pack my house.

God's Blessings

Philippians 4:19 And my God with supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. I have a God that owns the universe, and all that is in it belongs to him. We have been so blessed these last few weeks, I don't even know where to start. I put on Facebook that we are better taken care of now, being alone than before.  It is so true. I was given enough money to pay my rent, people have been almost demanding I call them when I need help moving, giving me boxes, other supplies, gas, I have a friend that will come fix my car whenever I need it, we have plenty of food, people that watch my kids, people that say such encouraging things to me, people all over are praying for me, I have amazing counselors, friends, church, we have had many people tell us how they are working to find us a place to live, I am just so blow away with what an awesome God we serve.  He loves me and that is all that matters. So thank you all of you that are allowing God to use you and bless us, it makes such a world of difference.  It makes this load I carry so much more bearable.

Tried to get a new picture super fast before church on Sunday.lol

 

I would appreciate prayer for my children. Like my counselors said, the wall of protection they had put up from the abuse, is coming down. Some of them act really different now and I need some wisdom on how to handle that. They are amazing kids, that have been through way too much. They all have such sweet loving hearts to help others. It is hard to give each one the attention needed to deal with things. I have started doing what one wise woman told me...take those moments when you find yourself alone with one of them and connect with them for just a minute. I really like this, it's like little hugs, or a small tickle to get a smile, or telling them how beautiful they are. And trying to smile at each one when they look at me, this is hard for me at this point, and I don't know why. I was once accused of being too nice to my kids. I would like to be there again, it is so hard to find the balance in being firm enough to keep the peace without being so harsh you are not pleasant.

 

On a flip note, a big burden has been lifted, my soon to be ex husband has confessed to some of his crimes, taking away that fear of will he really be convicted. Now it's just a matter of when and how long. God's hand works in every area of my life. I do have a lot of legal issues I still need to work out in regards to the children. So prayer in that area is appreciated.  Thanks!

Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies) Chris Tomlin

We are moving.....

I know I have not written in a while, we have been busy working and being sick some. Thank you to those who gave us work, it is much appreciated. It is really hard to come up with $1500 a month, and my lease is up the end of November.  So I think it's time to move on. I am still working on applying for some new housing things that have come up, so if they go through great, if not we will move on. We were able to earn about half of our rent, but still have a ways to go. It is due Nov 1st but I have a few days grace if  I need too. I would like to get a travel trailer again if we can. But would like it to have 2 bedrooms. My kids really need there own area and I can sleep on the couch. That really is the cheapest way to live. I don't have a trailer to live in yet, but I know God will provide.  We aren't opposed to living in a house, I just don't know what we can afford, and most people probable don't want me to live in their 2 bedroom with 7 kids...lol. We do have somewhere we can stay with friends if I don't find anything. So if anyone knows of anyone with a trailer or small house, let me know.  I was thinking I could buy a trailer with my tax return this year and maybe make payments for a bit till then. I don't  know. Just keep us in your prayers. Going from being a stay at home mom to a provider of 7 children, is a total lifestyle adjustment.

We Can Work!!

                                                     We really do need some work.

We are working on putting a flyer out for our neighbours on Ferns Corner Road, so if you are one of our neighbours, Welcome! Thank you for reading this. This is my blog about my life. I found out my husband  lied  to me about a lot of things and had a secret life, and it wound him up in jail. So now it’s just me and the 7 kids. I really would like to keep our house.  I have not had a real job in 9 years so I am not going to make much getting a regular job.  I am working on a small business called SendOutCards, that will be able to support us someday. But for now I am willing to work doing any variety of odd jobs.  My kids love to help me, so whatever you think we could do to help you out, that would be a blessing.  Here are some ideas that are a starter, but you may be able to think of more.

• Spring clean your house (things you never get to)
• Or a weekly regular cleaning.
• Babysitting ( even in the middle of the night emergency)
• Sewing
• Cooking a meal (sick, busy)
• Pick up kids from school if you are busy one day
•  
• Clean up your yard/ windows
•  
• Pull weeds, pick up/haul wood
•  
• Type a paper, or do some accounting. I know QuickBooks.
•  
• I am really good with computers, transferring pictures, organizing files/pictures ect.
• Help with organizing things. I love to organize!
• Do a dump run (have a hitch on my mini van for small stuff)
•  
• Farm chores, I can milk cows and goats!
• Clean the garage!
• Think of that odd job you just never get around to doing.

My business I am doing is www.sendoutcards.com/have-fun, if you want to check it out, just watch the video. I meet at The Well every Thusday night at 8pm to learn more about it.

Thank you for reading this and thinking of us.

Call me 971-600-8015 Holly 

The rest of you that don't live on my road, if you live in my area you can call me for work too! Thanks!

Keeping Humble, Life is hard

So I guess God likes to keep us humble. After I wrote last weeks post I went and saw my counselor. It is a Christian couple, they do it together, so sometimes I say he, and other times I say she when I refer to them.  Just so no one gets the wrong idea, when I say He...lol. Anyway, we went over a list that is stuff you experience in a domestic violence/abuse relationship. Some things I checked were a sometimes, and some things were an always. So now I get to figure out what things were not normal in my relationship/family and what things were. I know some of you know me better than others. Maybe some of you who know me/us could tell me if you think something we did was normal or not normal. Like, remember that one time when this happened, well I thought it was a little odd. I just want to think outside the box a little.  Learn something about normal.

 I really wanted to talk about how my counselor said, I will probably have a down from this "high" I seem to be on.  And that my kids and I have developed this cooping mechanism, to survive things, and slowly we will ease off of this cooping mechanism and different feelings and behaviors may arise. I see that happening in my kids some. But it was as if I was given permission to feel something. That very day I got a some mail that hit a trigger. I started to cry. And cry. It was as if the all the hurt hit me at once. I don't really share all the details of the drama that happens everyday in my life. I try not to talk too negatively about the "other" party. So sometimes its hard to write, and maybe it comes across as confusing to you, idk. Anyway, I thought about how I haven't really just "cried". I wanted to so badly when this all first came out, but I had to be strong for my kids, and some of them viewed me as crazy, if I started to cry. Thoughts planted. Things are better now in that area. I am learning I am not crazy, that is just something the abuser tries to get everyone to believe. So I guess this past few days I have been kind of a wreak.  I have had some worry about life and jobs and housing, and my kids, some hurt.  I know God will provide. Sometimes we just wish we knew exactly how. So today I listen to Held by Natalie Grant. A song that has also carried me through the years. Thank you so much for all your prayers.  I guess this is one unique journey, I am blessed that you will walk this road with me and help me along.

God is strong!

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in You.  This verse was given to me by a pastor years ago, when I had come to the church to seek help for my marriage. I have carried it with me all these years and tried to apply it to my life. Another favorite of mine is Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. These verses gave me hope, for many, many years.  I am just so glad that God never gave up on me, even though I just about gave up on Him. I feel as though people look at me like I am some strong person because of my attitude going through all that I am going through. I have no doubt that God is giving me strength with out measure, but you need to know I failed. What I am going through right now is God's answer to me. I am on the up side of things. I am soooo grateful. But how I was on the down side of things is my failing. Things have been bad for a long long time. So long, that I almost gave up. The last couple of years were my worst. I knew God loved me, but he seemed so far away, and nothing ever seemed to get better no matter what I did. It was so hard to find a church, then try to go alone, and get 7 kids ready, just to find out church was canceled. Satan hit us hard, and probable won, too many times. I had pretty much given up. When life was at it's worst I gave up. I did what I needed to do for my family, but my heart was not there for my husband any more, and I wondered where God was in all of it. I was like everybody else.  I had nothing left to give. I was taken into the desert, literally and figuratively, and I dried up.  It wasn't till I moved back to Oregon that I started to see some hope, although I felt sooo much guilt for being happy to be living alone.....deep down I really felt like God was giving me a break....but was that ok to think??? There were times in those years when I would try hard again, but Satan is always there knocking us back down when we try, trying to convince us that life is harder with Jesus...such a lie! I finally had my heart set on God again, and not giving up,I had just faith like a mustard seed.  and life got to be the worse it had ever been. He had came home. But God helped me, and started to reveal things to me.  Things I could never figure out before. I think God spoke clearer to me in those days than I had ever experienced before.  And now all the truth has come out, and as a result I have been rescued. God has rescued me! I am on the good side of things.  I am not strong. I fail. My God is strong and He loves me THAT much. I have prayed for many, many, many years, what is wrong with me, with us, why is it is never enough. God has showed me now. Although I gave it my all for  many, many years, I slowly gave up, and I am so sorry.  I missed so many opportunities to be a good witness for God. I am so grateful God did not give up on me, and now I have a wonderful family.  My kids are so amazing.  God waited for the right time to reveal things.  Waited till I had the right kids.  Without any of them, things would not work the way they do. God is soooo good. ALL THE TIME. How do I put a song on here?....lol I love that song! Anyway, this is hard to share, but I feel like God is telling me to share this, and because I feel bad, like people think I'm so strong going through all of this. I'm not. I'm rejoicing because of answered prayers, that's it.

God has prepared the way

So as I talk with people about my life I am just amazed at how God has prepared the way for things to happen the way they did. One of those things is, my curriculum. I really hadn't thought about till I was telling someone what curriculum we use. Last year when we had some money we bought this curriculum, which for the most part covers k-12, called Robbinson curriculum. It was written by a man whose wife died and he wanted to continue to homeschool his kids, so he wrote this more self directed curriculum. God knew I would need this.

The next thing God has directed is a small business venture I started a few months back.  He knew I would need this to support myself and my kids.  It will probable take some time to get it off the ground an make enough money to support my family, but I am now going all out.  Treating it like a real job. I am so excited that God has provided this for me. I don't want to waste this opportunity.  Most of you already know what this endevure is, but if you don't it is Send Out Cards.  The best business I could possibly be in.  www.sendoutcards.com/have-fun is my website.  For about $10 a month, you too could become one of my customers, and have fun sending cards and gifts online. Anyway, I started today going around to local businesses.  I am excited to see what God is going to do. I also am going to have weekly meetings at The Well in Dallas on Thurs nights 8pm.  Come see what the fun is all about.

These are just a couple of things, not to mention the very fact we are in Oregon around people who love us.

On another note, we were able to meet with Austin and Alissa's mom  in person.  Austin was able to pray with her and share Gods love with her.  We were so happy to see God helped us find her, and we got to see her in person.  We had a great trip in Washington. We visited with many different family members. It was really nice to see everyone, and meet some new ones. I am glad to see that God was my defense in many situations, where Donavan had portrayed me as someone I was not. I guess what most of the "family" is saying, is they are happy to get to know me now, I never really talked to people much before. But now I do and they can see I am nice. :)

All of the 9 kids together plus a                            Austin and Alissa with their mom
boyfriend and baby (still inside, lol)

What would you label this title as? lol

I know it has been a while since my last post.  Someone had said to me that I write too much negative stuff. So I wanted to re-evaluate what I am writing, why and how I can make sure I am not doing that.  I think it was just Satan finding a way to discourage me.  I have sought counsel and researched my Bible.  Anyway. We are doing good. We were able to go on our church campout and had a blast.  While we were there, we talked with some people about the end times and different signs.  So many things point to it being soon, but no one knows the day or hour, so our conclusion is to just be ready.  Are you ready? It has prompted Austin to want to be able to talk to his mom in Washington.  He has such a heart to help others. So here we are, in Washington.  He has not seen his mom in a few years. Not many people have seen her.  But we started asking around, praying that God would help us, and he did.  We just happened upon her boyfriend's brother. He was able to call his brother and get her on the phone and Austin got to talk to her.  It was really exciting! While we are up here in Washington, we are able to visit other family members and friends too. It has been really great fellowshipping and getting re-acquainted with them all.

Some fun good news!



Free Backpacks!

Ok, so we have had a lot of fun things happen in the last couple weeks.  One of which was the "free" backpacks we got from the Salvation Army give away in Falls City.  The kids (and I) are so excited.  Going to church on Sunday was super great! Then this past Tues was Tiffany's birthday.  We all went to the beach and had a blast, then on to the Tillamook

 

 

Cheese Factory. It was so great to go and get wet and get sand in the car.....lol with no pressure. We had a lot of fun, we even got to help get some people's car unstuck from the sand.  We love to help people out. Summer has been going potty in the toilet all day...YAY. I think I am going to get to go back to school. I love school. Probable just take some online classes for now.  Today I went and got my leaking tire fixed.  Turned out I had two leaking tires.  Both were fixed for free and someone left me $20 for gas! I've been able to hang out with my kids a lot and get my hair brushed...lol (my favorite thing). I feel like God is giving me a big hug.  So much pressure has been taken off my shoulders, even though I have 7 kids and it's just me and them now, things are better than they've been in a long time and we are happy and pressure free! Thank you to all of the great people in my life who always ask how I'm doing or say I am praying for you.  I don't feel so alone in all of this, and that is God using you to hug me...lol THANKYOU

My Support Group for Domestic Abuse

So I go to a support group once a week.  It has been really great.  It is nice to be amongst people who understand each other and what we have been through.  You can see on peoples faces when someone else is telling a story that we have all experienced that same thing. Today they had us go back to when we first met our "abuser".  What were your dreams and hopes for the relationship and for life.  For me I wanted to make sure I married someone who loved to dance and hike and be active. I didnt really have many plans past that, I was young. I thought that was what I was marrying. While we dated thats all we did. But it all stopped the day we got married. Which is what they refer to as the "light switch moment." When the abuser suddenly becomes a different person one day.

They talked about the "Cinderella story." Most people in America have this fairy tale idea of how a relationship should go. We all want to be adored for our beauty, rescued by prince charming and of course live happily ever after. When that doesn't happen, we all wonder "What Happened?" So maybe our ideas of how life should happen are a little off track.  I am thankful to have the privilege of teaching my daughters how their personality should be just as beautiful as their outward appearance. How dressing appropriately will help attract the right kind of guy that isnt destracted with her body. Now I pray that God will show them how a husband should really treat a wife.  That how we were treated was not ok.

We then talked about if we ever got to the point where we knew what was coming as far as the abuse goes. There is the cycle that happens.  And you learn to keep the peace and try your best to keep things calm.  But it is inevitable no matter what you do.  I remember coming to the place where I knew I could never do enough, everyday he would come home and have some other "request" that I hadn't got around to.  Like one day it was the fridge wasn't clean enough, the next day it was the desk wasn't organized.  I always felt like I would never be a good enough wife and get the right things done.  But in that I am thankful I had the Lord.  I knew that God knew I did my best each day.  And even if I didn't live up to Donavan's standards, I did live up to Gods. 

They explained this: like an alcoholic thinks they will feel better if they drink, a controlling person feels better when they can control something.  So when they have a rough day or something they will come home and "control things" to feel better.  It seems so twisted but its true.  They will plan things out in there head so they can do this.  But in this same cycle there will be "good times" when everything seems fine.  But the cycle all happens again. It is so eye opening to look back over my life and see the big picture.  I was truly devoted and trusting. I always tried harder. Eventually  my love wore thin, and I manly did what I could just to hold life together.  Flowers and nice jesters became meaningless because his actions always said other wise.  Anyway, God has taught me so much. I am so thankful he has walked this road with me.  And thankful for my support group. I love sharing how God has helped me, and continues to help me.

Domestic Abuse

I would like to touch on this special subject a bit.  I feel like people are not aware that this happens. I certainly had no idea.  Domestic abuse. What is that?  Well, we have all heard of Domestic Violence.  And what do we think of when we here that? Oh, those poor women who get beat up all the time by their partners. That is not me! Well, Domestic abuse, is from a different alley, but same cycles. It isn't physical, it's emotional. Emotional abuse is very real and sometimes more damaging than physical abuse. This is a really great web site that shows the signs you are in a abusive relationship. This was really helpful to me. Abusers have a cycle that they follow, over and over. It's so interesting. I was dumbfounded when I realized that these kind of men are all the same. They have so many of the same characteristics. I realized this before I found out other things about Donavan. But it caused me get to get some help and the ball rolling which caused the other "truths" to come out the way they did. God was revealing things to me a little at a time.

 

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

 

If you think that you may be in a situation like this, search for a local domestic violence/abuse clinic, They totally help you with support and what to do now.  I go to a weekly support group that has been a great help.

 

On a side note...This does not mean I don't believe that a husband is head of the household, and God's order of things.  I do believe and have tried to live that. This is not about that.  It is when the man is using fear to control his wife/family, and diminishing her self worth so she is useless to anyone but him, and using threats, those things are not ok.

God's Provision

I stand in awe of the things God is doing.  We were so blessed to go to church today.  Since we had to be in hiding the last few weeks for my families safety, we were not able to go to church.  We would watch it online, but it is not the same. I think that is what my kids and I missed the most about being gone, was church. Anyway, today at church during worship the Lord reminded me of a lesson he taught me way back the first year I was married. During that first year Donavan and I had separated for a short while, and I saw God provide for me in amazing ways.  I learned right then and there, that he would always provide for me, despite Donavan.  I have always been able to know that God would provide, even when things are hard, especially when we had our business.  I am so glad I was taught that way back when, because now it really is just God and I, and the 7 kids he has blessed me with. I was so over whelmed with appreciation for what the Lord has done for us and how his is the best father my kids can have, I really couldn't stop crying.  The service was really great, about how  70% of what we do is from a habit. How important it is to have good habits in everything we do. Then seeing everyone afterwards is great to. I love the people at my church! So after all this someone provided me with enough money to pay my rent, twice! I am so excited! God always goes above and beyond what we even imagine! Thankyou!

Assistance

I have noticed a going trend. A lot of really nice people who want to make sure I am getting assistance from all of the ways possible. Thank you so much for all your help. I will explain  now what I do get help with so you don't waste your time doing what the last person did or what I have already done. I am receiving SNAP (food stamps), and TANF (temporary assistance for needy families) which gives me enough money once a month to cover my small bills, gas, diapers, tp ect. I qualified for the Domestic Violence Grant which helped me with the gas and expenses from hiding out for a couple of weeks. I understand that their is a program that will pay your electricity once a year, and maybe some rent. I have applied for housing but there is a two year waiting list.  I am going to a DV support group that should bump me up on that two year list. That is what I have so far. If you know of anything else, feel free to comment. I just get a lot of repeat ideas from people, so maybe this will clear things up.

New Reasons

Check out the new reasons section to the right of this >>>>>>>>>>>>

Rent update

GOD is good! I have had several people give me about $200 each. Praise the Lord. And my parents said they will pay the difference. They are not rich but didn't want me to worry about this so soon.The less they have to pay the better, but they are willing. I know its a sacrifice.  So I have $800. If any wants to help with a little more that would be great. I understand its a sacrifice for anyone. So THANKYOU!  I only have a few more months on my lease, if I can make it to the end I will get a few thousand back in deposits. That is my new short term goal. I will go in to pay rent about 2pm. Thankyou.  God is good.

I love this!

One of my favorite things is to have all my kids gathered at the table. Its great to talk and read together. Oatmeal is not the most favored meal...lol....but we have good times.

Got my new phone!!

Today I woke up to the phone ringing. It was the phone company telling me my phone was going to be shut off if it's not paid right now. I had no way to pay it at that moment, so I hung up and tried to go back to sleep. Feeling like nobody will be able to call me and I could sleep. I did read Ps 121-123. My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth. I woke up to a friend at the door. It was so nice to see a familiar face. After she left I opened her card and she had giving me some money. So I was able to go today, and istead of paying my already late phone bill that I have no control over since Donavan took me off of the account, I opened my own phone account that only I can control. So it was a miracle that I didn't pay my old phone bill. Instead I was able to get 4 phones for only $100. My parents were on our account and Donavan turned there phones off a few weeks ago. So I got them their phones back. I am so happy. God worked all of the details out despite my disappointment this morning. So my new number is on Facebook or message me for it. Thankyou for all your prayers and support!

Him

If you go to this site and click on Donavan Watkins you will see his charges and mug shot.

http://apps.co.polk.or.us/jail/inmates/icurrent.htm

Just us Again

It's been four months since it was just me and my kids living happily alone. We were fine, happy, enjoying life. Then one day we got a visit from a great friend. We were so excited to see her. Then my husband and her husband were layed off together. She never got to go home from her vacation and I got a house guests for a while. We all had a blast. Her family and me and my kids. But then it happened, my husband got fired from his job and came home. We had moved to our house in November and me and the kids lived there while Donavan lived and worked in NV. So when Donavan came home he saw how happy we all were and I don't think he liked it. He said he was going to let everyone know what I was really like and tell our whole church our marriage problems. And that's what happened. My whole life got flipped upside down. I am typing this on my phone cuz he turned my internet off. So I will stop here for now. I'll talk about it more tomorrow. I am happy to have just me and my kids again. I have such amazing kids. And God has seen me through every step of this journey.

Need $ for rent by friday!

Just posting this because I talked to my Landlord today and found out I have till Friday to pay my rent(that was due on the 1st)or else we will be evicted. So that is my focus for now. I know God will provide. It will be super hard to move in a time like this. My rent is $1500. If you are able even to help with a few dollars, click the donate button below. ThankYou!!!

My Kids

How to donate (thanks!)