We need each other

 I am not sure how to start this out. I am kind of realizing I really need to rely on other people to help me out when I really need help. I think I have been trying to manage on my own. Me and God. But sometimes God puts people in our lives to help us out. So now I have been trying to use some people to  help with my kids school work, and watch my kids, hang out with my kids, and doing a co-op has helped a lot too! I am only one person.  I can't be everywhere at once. To have people I can call for different things is really helpful and if you are one of those people...Thank you!!! As many of you may know I have been on a program to help my family heal and go to counseling. I haven't done much for work outside of my small businesses. Although the last month and a half I have been trying to train for a new career.  During the training phase you don't get paid for anything and you have to pay to take some classes online and get licensed.  It has been a bit hard.  But I am getting there.  It's hard to know the balance between being with my kids and working. It seems my kids are struggling with it and its hard on them.  Its been hard on me too. We are still healing.  I have now scheduled it to where I can work 3full days and have the other 4 off.  Being in the working world is so different.  I miss just being a mom and having time to help others.  Anyway.  I still get a bit of money from the state, but its not really enough to cover everything.  I used my tax return for as long as I could.  But I have slowly fallen behind on most of my bills.  And this month has been especially hard. I have been trying to pay for my licensing, and I made a very small payment to get a working car since my van is just about done, I need to get around for work, which is extra gas expense too. So I don't know.  Things are really tight right now.  I know God will provide. I've been thankful for my friends who let me use their washing machine because mine is still broke. Sometimes things seem to pile up on you all so hard, but I know it can only get better from here. And its ok if I admit things are a little hard. I think I never wanted to allow myself to say things are hard, because in doing so, it somehow would mean before was better, but that's not true.  Funny the things our minds convince us of. I know good things are coming, and we will get through this small hump. Thanks for being supportive. 

Poor Me

Life...why do we live our lives? Day in...day out...same job..same family...sometimes different problems. Problems, why do we have problems?  Everyone goes through problems. The rich, the poor, the Godly, the Ungodly. What makes problems more bearable, how do you still have hope amidst those problems. Peace that passes all understanding. Love that covers all. Forgiveness for things that we have done.
Philippians 4:4-7
Rejoice in the Lord always and again I will say rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hears and minds in Christ Jesus.
How often do we find things to be thankful for during a hard situation. Do we look for the positive or do we dwell on the negative? Dwelling on the negative is very easy to do. We say, look at my situation and how bad it is, I deserve to just be sad and negative. Because, honestly it is way harder to be thankful and find joy. Funny though, why is that, why not do what is harder to do to find joy? Why take the easy road, have a pity party, and loathe in misery. We are funny aren't we. I have much to be thankful for. If you don't know Gods will in any moment, know that being thankful is always Gods will. I Thes 5:18 In everything give thanks for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. There are a few verses that tell you specifically what God's will are. This is one of them. I really think that I have been kind of dwelling on the poor me. I wasn't being very thankful for much and focusing on how much I have to do and why it has to be all me. If any one has an excuse to say poor me, I am probably a good candidate. But why do that to myself.  I have soooo much to be thankful for. And I am not doing this alone if I don't want to. I can choose to try to survive on my own with out the Lord, but how far is that going to get me. So I have been realizing some of this lately.  Life is way to hard to carry that burden alone. I have now given it all back to him. And WOW. What a difference it has made. I feel so much happier, things are coming together like I never thought they would, and I don't have to worry about tomorrow. I just choose to be thankful each day. And do my best with what God has given me.  I love the song " Lord, I need you, oh I need you"

Life as we know it

So hears a story... of a gal named Holly, who had 7 lovely children of her own.....Ok I don't know why the Brady Bunch tune is in my head. LOL So I guess I haven't written in a while because things have been a bit crazy. I've been busy working on my SendOutCards Business, organizing our house, setting up chores for 7 kids, figuring out a meal plan for everyone, homeschooling 6 kids, attempting to figure out what normal is, selling things on craigslist, killing mice, working on emotional issues, taking kids to counseling, the doctor, getting rid of stalkers, working on my business a little more, visiting people that need help, trying not to stress, working on teaching my kids the Bible, dancing, laundry, keeping the house in a bit of order, tying to figure out money till my business grows, keeping up on the car, paying bills, trying to stay cool, raising a teenager, and so much more,  all while trying not to go insane. I've been trying really hard to balance all of that with out being so exhausted I don't want to attempt to do anything at all. I am seeing how just being a stay at home mom of seven is a lot of work in itself. But to be the sole provider too, it is hard. God is good and provides and I am trying not stress, but it's kind of overwhelming at times. My counselors have compared my family and what we have been through, to a train wreck. We were all in a wreck and some of us came away with internal injury's but look fine, while others were buried in rubble, and maybe some only got a scratch. We are all different, but yet everyone has the relief that we are still alive and the wreck is over.  While we are all relieved, my counselors threw in the idea, what if you found out the reason you were in the wreck is because the conductor fell asleep? So crazy. I don't feel anger, but I think the relief is wearing off and the reality of what I have been left with is sinking in. God is good and is helping us sort it all out. Balancing working and kids and home life is interesting. Never knowing how the next bill is getting paid exactly. Feeling like network marketing business is such a slow going thing, but with so much potential. My only hope is to grow it big enough to where I won't have to worry about working sooo much. And my ultimate desire is to help others. I'm hoping in 5 years I can be the one reaching out to others financially and not the other way around. I guess just keep me in your prayers, I am in a very stressful stage of all this and trying to sort it all out.
"All things work together for good, to those who love God. and are called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28

Sendcere

What is Sendcere?

It is just like pinterest, a free social media site that is free to join, favorite and share things on, only it is made up of thousands of real greeting cards. It makes it easy to find just the right card by using the search bar. Father, golf for example. And if you want to change the writing in the card you can. It is totally free to join, and if you want to send  one of the cards you can easily by paying $1.98 plus a stamp at the end.  It's so fun and awesome.

What I want you to do!!!
Click the link below and sign up for a FREE Sendcere account. You don't need to buy anything ever. But if you ever do choose to send a card now and then, I will get the credit. If you try to join sendcere with out following one of my links, I will not get credit for your purchases, ever. So it's important that all my friends join under me by clicking the link below. THANKYOU!!!  I know I have awesome friends.

http://www.sendcere.com/cards/103211343/21272/18003927 Click on the follow button then it will prompt you to log in or open an account. :)

#wegetpaidtobenicetopeople
We Get Paid To Be Nice To People

A Trip of Healing

So we went on our trip to Nevada and Utah.  Made lots of stops and visited friends a long the way. It was a very healing trip for all of us.  I reconnected with a long time friend of the family who had lots of information about things I had no idea Donavan was doing. I really have gotten use to this.  There are so many stories. God knew. So its ok if I didn't. Just more proof He was watching over me and protecting me and now rescuing me. The kids had there moments of breaking down too.  It brought up many things that they have been angry about and we were able to talk about it. I also found out I am officially divorced. Such a relief. It was kind of disheartening thinking about the kind of man I really was married to. I also had a birthday recently and with that turn brings a whole new year full of new possibilities. I am excited to see how God will grow my business and do things over the next year. I feel as though we are a whole new family.  We have left the past behind and are allowing God's peace to reign. I am so thankful for a whole new life, with my amazing kids, in my amazing community, here in my amazing house. God is good.....All the time!!!

Work

Hello all!! I have been a bit weighed down lately. God is always good and provides, but I know I can not just sit around and do nothing in regards to earning an income. I even went to Nevada with the hopes of working and earning some money selling food. But all that proved was how having a job outside my home would be a strain on my family. So I have joined another business venture that I believe is worth investing in.  So now I have two home business that I fully stand behind.  They can provide and income for my and my kids for years to come. The best thing about them is they help people.  I really love that. I am going to share with you what these businesses are, so if you feel inclined to check them out and think they may be something you could use, it would greatly help our family if you join. 

The first is SendOutCards. My website is www.sendoutcards.com/have-fun There is a short video you can watch, then click learn more and watch the next quick video.  I really enjoy being able to send people cards easily from my home. This service only cost $9.80 a month.

My other business is Legal Shield.  My website is www.hollywatkins.legalshield.com There is also a video you can watch at this site too.  I also use this services as well.  I now have a lawyer available to call anytime I need, for $20 a month. I never thought I needed a lawyer, but they do things like prepare my will, and review documents I sign, and I someone tries to overcharge me, I can find out my rights and more. It's pretty amazing.  Just watch the video is all I ask.

I really hate writing this, but I am getting desperate.  I do not want to live on government assistance forever.  It would be really great if I can get things going. :)

Divorce and Forgiveness

The last few weeks/month of my life have brought some unique challenges. News of hearing about my divorce has brought out some odd views. I am in bit of a shock, some people are suggesting I wait for Donavan, he may change. Well, not wanting to bring undo hardship, I have not gone into great detail about why Donavan went to prison.  It would not be right for me to put such things on here. So some of you who think you know what he is in there for, may not know, really. If you think you need to know more. Get a hold of me. But in any case. I have a right to divorce. Whether for the reason he went to prison, or for the abuse he put me and my children through the last 11 yrs, verbally, emotionally and some physically. I know that I am in the ok, and above all, that God knows it's ok. God knows that I have been with Donavan through pretty much EVERYTHING a person can possible experience while being married. I stayed through all of it. So another miracle I have learned through this, is that God was teaching me all these years how to forgive. I have been through so much, and still chose to forgive and love again. It wasn't always easy, especially being lied to, that's a really hard one. I was given a book called "The Freedom to Love and Live Again" by David E. Ritzenthaler.  It really helped me a lot. It has you list out things people have done to you, and then your own sinful reaction to what happened and more. You pray out the whole list. It is really freeing and helped me a ton.  I would recommend it to anyone and everyone. We all have been hurt by people, but have you really taken thought to forgive them? I found I didn't have the anger I once had after doing that. So the Lord was teaching me how to forgive both big and little things overtime and daily, so that when the Biggest thing hit, that too, was added to the list of things I have forgiven.  Although the other day God showed me as I was questioning, "have I really forgiven" that it is going to be a constant decision I have to make. Every time I hear yet another disheartening story from my kids, or learn of another lie ect...I will have the choice in those moments to be angry or to forgive...again. So it will be a journey, one that I believe God has equipped me with the tools to bear. Like I told a friend the other day, It is only a miracle of God that I can come out of something like this and not be bitter. But that is all God.

So I have been challenged in a lot of areas by the things people have been saying to me. I realize that some people view my joyful attitude as me not dealing with what I went through.  To those people, I just say that God truly prepared me for all of it, so when it hit, it was a relief, not a burden.  To say being a single Mom with seven kids is heaven compared to what I lived with before, says a lot about what a life I was living. And my Joy, comes from the Lord, my rock, my redeemer. With Him anything is possible. Most of you knew me when I was with Donavan and I had joy then too.  That is because God was my rock then too.  I would always try to talk about and point out the positive. Ps 55:21 Says "His speech was smoother than butter, but his heart was war: His words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords."  I know a lot of you knew Donavan, and you all know how well he was with his words. I knew he could sell catsup to a woman in white, little did I realize I was also a woman in white. I don't want to talk too negatively here, but the point is God knows the heart of these kinds of men.  It is what is in your heart that matters.  Donavan and his heart has led him to his path, and I have chosen to follow the Lord all of these years, and he has rescued me. The rest of  Ps55 says "Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you, He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.  But You, O God, will bring them down to the pit of destruction; Men of bloodshed and deceit will not live out half their days. But I will trust in You." WOW is all I have to say.  I know God loves Donavan too, and we pray he will truly repent, sometimes it takes loosing it all for you to see your need for a savior. And if I was to stay, and wait, he would not loose it all, and he would be clinging to a control that he has had for a long long time. I can forgive him, but I don't need to allow him back in my family.  I know God is ok with what I am doing, and I know He has great plans for my future. I do serve a God who is in the business of doing miracles. :-)