Abuse.....what is your understanding of this?

Leslie Vernick
The Emotionally Destructive Relationship
Introduction

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is very eye opening.  My stomach was turning after I read this. This is the mess I am cleaning up?!!??!! Wow! No wonder why sometimes I feel overwhelmed, and sometimes I feel nothing, and sometimes I want to hide, sometimes I don't know what I'm feeling, and sometimes its a good day.  This is the latest book I am reading.  It is VERY good.  If you have any thought as to "Maybe I am in a unhealthy or destructive relationship" then this is the perfect book for you.  It explains ABUSE, but it also explains destructive things that we do in our relationships that are not abuse, but they are destructive and will cause problems in our relationships. If you do find that you are in an abusive relationship, PLEASE seek professional help and PRAY.  God will guide you as he did me in the direction you need to go.  But something has to change.  The mess caused by abuse is bigger and far worse than most people can imagine.  I am hoping that people will educate themselves a little bit on this subject.  I was married for 11yrs and we saw many non professional church/friend counselors, and none of them recognized the abuse I was living. I didn't even know it was abuse, till near the very end.  Abuse is much much more than just someone hitting you.  There is emotional, verbal, sexual, and more.  Do a little research.  Maybe you have a friend that is hurting.  Pray for them.  Be there for them.  Abuse is a sensitive thing.  If the abuser knows that the person is becoming aware of things the situation may get worse for the person. They make the person feel helpless and like they are nothing with out them. There are a million reasons that the normal person does not understand as to why people stay with abusers.  I knew my life would be way worse if I ever tried to leave.  I was right.  The month or two before he was arrested were the worse few months of my life. But God was with me every step of the way. Maybe I can tell that story on here someday. Pray for my family as I continue our journey.  And please educate yourself some...to truly be a help to some people in life you need to understand that sometimes they need professional help, the mind of an abuser is an crazy thing. 

The Same

The same....what does that mean? Well, in life we go through a lot of things, we learn a lot, we change a lot.  People change us, circumstances change us.  This post is about being the same. In some aspects that is.  :) I thought I would share this delightful discovery I just made. :) I recently picked up an old, very old, journal of mine.  A journal I had once lost, and it was given back to me in the most random way a few years ago which is a miracle in its self.   The first entry dated 11/13/2000. OK maybe its not THAT old...to you. :) I was just about to throw this journal away because I remembered that most of what is in this journal was about when I met Donavan. But I decided to open it up and read a few pages first, I was quite surprised at what I found.

This is what I wrote for the first entry:

The story of my life. My happy times, sad times, fat times, loving times, hurtful times.  Everything that I am, every thought that I think. Written here in the pages that follow. Written with a pen and ink that costs less than a dollar.  Who would have known that a pen would write something so valuable.  Take this book and pen that costs about $10 together, and create something so priceless. Amazing isn't it? Anything can be something if you make it that way.

 Tomorrow I will be going on my 5th day in my new apartment.  I really love it. I don't have any furniture, but I love it that way. I love the open space, the room to dance, or just to lay where ever I want.  Who knows if I will ever be able to have this much room to myself again.  It is clean.

If I could be anything in the world, I would be a princess. Because they are, to me, always young, beautiful, sweet, kind, and they live in a beautiful house and they always have a beautiful house.  And enough to share with those who need it.  Another thing is they always get to wear beautiful dresses.

I can dream can't I?

End of the journal entry.

Wow....those of you that know me well are probably smiling and laughing and maybe crying, like I did.  I am in shock really.  My true desires of my heart have not changed much at all.  And it is as if my dreams have come true.  I am a princess, daughter of the King.  King of the universe.  I live in a beautiful house with very little furniture so I can dance!! I love to help others and long still, to have plenty to help people with, but I do what I can with what I have for now. I am also blessed to have many beautiful dresses now that I can wear when ever I want. That hasn't always been so. Last but not least, I have told most people, I will never be old. I believe old is a state of mind.... :)

Basically I am so thankful to the Lord, for keeping my heart.  And although I have been through many many things, to put it mildly, yet my heart is the same. And who knew that I really was writing something that would mean SO much to me someday.  Wow!!! I will end with my new favorite quote.....

"Anything can be something if you make it that way."