This is the speech that I gave to Donavan today. It was very liberating to be able to say something without fear of repercussions from him. His sister was also able to speak. A lot of his family felt very controlled by him also. He did try to walk away after I started speaking but the judge made him come back and listen. I also played messages from my kids.
I am learning in my Domestic violence class that I need to do things for myself once in a while. People in our situation have given and given for so many years that we hardly can bring ourselves to do things for ourselves. So this, this speech is for ME. This summer God started revealing things to me, and opened my eyes to how you really are.. I gave our marriage my all for many many years, but these last few, I was at my wits end. Nothing ever seemed to make things better. And now I know why. You are an abusive person Donavan. You may not realize this, but it is clear as day to me now. My counselor read me a list of abusive behaviors and had me write down the things that you had done to me. It took up a whole page, and I had no doubt that I am a victim of domestic violence, as crazy as that sounds. I have realized that you are a master manipulator and liar. It is amazing how much you are just like all the other abusive men. Doing things like being harsh, demanding, always blaming me, threatening to abandon me, arguing over small things, not leaving me alone when I ask, pushing me, calling me names, cutting off family and friends, requiring me to ask permission to do just about anything, humiliating me, throwing things, accusing me of thing you are doing, calling me crazy, and trying to convince others I was crazy... are just a FEW of the things on the list. You not only did these things to me, but to our kids as well. God has seen our sufferings, he has answered our prayers. I am glad he gave me the last two years to stand up to you sometimes, and to stand up for our kids, I am glad for those moments when I said to our family THIS IS NOT NORMAL.and slowly I grew to not love you anymore. God only knows how I would be falling apart right now if I loved you the way I did years ago. I always knew I was never good enough for you, but now, with what you have done, I feel sorry for you. You are a sick man. I pray that you repent before God, and he truly saves your soul. Your only hope is to one day see you kids in Heaven. I have always tried to stand up for you, and the fact that no one really knows how you treated us in private, is proof I was a good wife. You lost out Donavan. We could have been awesome together, but you just couldn't stop lying and being abusive....its ok. God has given me another chance, I am going to a Christian counselor and learning what a normal healthy loving relationship is really like.... and someday I will make somebody a really really great wife.Real men don't lie to, cheat on or abuse women.
He pleaded guilty and got 75 months and he will also have a trial in Nevada and Arizona.
This verse God showed me today and is my heart.
Colossians 3:12-17 NKJV
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Thankyou everyone for your prayers.
